According to my mother. Things got out of hand because we didn't help enough, or I didn't help enough, or I didn't make my brother do the chores she gave him, or he spent too much time out with his friends instead of helping, or she was so overwhelmed, or it was other family members dropping stuff off at her house, or it because she hurt her back at work and had to fight for workers comp, or because when she went back to college she didn't have time to focus on the house and we weren't any help, or because when they built the development around her house the tractors created a lot of dust, and they move her fence, or it was because it flooded again, or if only she had a file cabinet and file folders (which I bought for her, but they weren't the right ones), or a vacuum that worked (she has five), or shelves in the garage (which I build for her, but it wasn't quite what she wanted) or some time to get organized, if only she had some help it would be perfect.
And our relationship is the way it is because of my dad's family, because of her sister/my aunt, because of my husband, because of my husband's family, because of my friends, because I have replaced her with other people. Which tells me she thinks I am weak and easily swayed by the opinions of other people. She used to brag to everyone how strong willed and stubborn I was.