valley_oak (valley_oak) wrote,

No grandmother like mine

My hoarding mom's first grandchild is due this November, in just over three weeks. It makes me sad to know that although she is awesome with small children (before they become independent people), my baby will not have the relationship with her that I had with my grandma. There will be no trips to the grandparents with nights spent in the guest room or mornings drawing at the kitchen table. There is no room for my child in my mother's home. The last time I was there there were two places to sit, a footstool in front of the TV and the bed, in a 1364 sq ft house. The kitchen sink and the bathroom sink were inaccessible. Treacherous trails lead from the front door to the kitchen, bedroom and bathroom. And due to her toxic behavior as a guest she is no longer welcome in our home.

Society tells us this is cold and how could I be so heartless, I owe her, after all she did give birth to me and since I did not grow up to be a mass murderer she must have done it well. But really it has been her behavior since I became an adult that has been inappropriate & toxic. If she were not my mother I could have cut her off years ago. I do not accept that treatment from strangers or "friends" why should I accept it from someone who is related by blood. And I am certainly not going to let her poison my child.

Tags: hoarding, toxic parent
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